M4

T hey are leaving. And I doubt if I would see them ever again. Strange is this knot in the heart and the gut. And despite the intensity of feelings and thoughts that would rage inside me, I was hopelessly tongue-tied when in their company. Hell, I couldn't even muster enough courage to say anything beyond a feeble ‘Hi’.  To think that just a year ago, I was unaware of their existence-any of them- happily lost in the quandary of life, like a kid playing in a sandbox. Yet, here I am, writing this piece while I should be sitting by them, pouring my heart out. There are a million things I so want to tell them. Right Now. I even tried going to them. But then I couldn't go even within a few yards of them. I do know that this is my last chance- what I don’t say now will stay buried inside me forever. Perhaps, life had handed me lemons quite a few times before, and the sour taste of those lemonades still lingers inside me. Perhaps, I’m just not brave enough- a coward. Perhaps… Des...

A few years ago, I made public a question that has been tormenting me ever since I was able to think : "What's 'new' in a 'new year' ? And understandably, I received you-must-be-crazy-or-dumb-looks in no less numbers  Every year, when people across the world celebrate new year- most cultures more than once a calender year- I tried to fathom why people behave so stupidly this time of the year (Trust me, I'd seen people do some really weird things that they would not usually do). Well, for one, it is just another damn day and we all have to go to school/college/work again. For another, the year actually changes a quarter to three quarters of a day later (#leapYearAdjustment). For yet another, we all have to go through the tedious process of getting new calendars, diaries, planners, greeting cards, subscriptions et al. (Yes, I'm lazy!) They say, "Hope keeps a man alive" and so I convinced myself that it must be hope that people see...

People often find me quiet, alone and aloof at first. Although they find me amenable, as they get familiar to me, they venture to ask why I am the way I am. I have always answered saying I like being that way; But almost always I knew this was not totally true.  I stay aloof and alone because I don't have to pretend when I'm alone. No facades, no fake smiles and no feigning interest. But realization dawned lately that disconnection is just avoidance of the problem and not a solution, thanks partly due to the circumstances and partly due to the choice of profession. So now, the face became the veneer to my mind. The refuge of this mask gave me the boldness to do what I would not do otherwise; and trust me, most of that was not good. More, the mask gave the courage to experiment, to learn and experience things, to scramble priorities and just go with the gut. I now work, play,  enjoy, detest, party, slog, appreciate, ignore, adore, abhor, love and hate with t...

Here is a link to a friend's blog: http://supercalifragilisticexpialidociouz.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-k-files-facts-about-b-school.html Heck, why bother writing the K-files all over again when he put them together so very well... However, here are 11 pictures, which make it equivalent to 11,000 words.

I can't really say that I haven't had wonderful teachers. If not for them, I would never have been whatever I am. But here is the best of them all... Prof A. F. Mathew, the sociology professor. One lecture of his and you can never forget him for the rest of your life. We go to his lectures with mind as tranquil as a placid lake. And we come out an hour later in a raging storm of thoughts. He tears down all your prejudices, one at a time. One month of learning from him and the change I feel is palpable. His views in his own words:  http://chroniclesofdementia.blogspot.in/ If there is one thing that I loved consistently over the past month at IIMK, it is Prof. Mathew's lectures. I am beginning to love myself for choosing Kozhikode...

Long time since I had been sane enough to write something.. But now I am almost back on track. Life gives us lemons and we are supposed to learn making good lemonade very early. That I did fine. Life also gives us gifts on a platter sometimes. And this looks too good to believe. That too, I had now. Admissions to three (not one, not two) top B-schools of the country came in a span of a month. Sure I expected one, but three.. never. Then comes the tough part of the luck- choosing one of the 3 colleges. Rating the colleges on parameters so crazy that the CAT criteria is put to shame. Choice is what spoils half our life. Landed up in Kozhikode and the city was in a lockdown that day. What an entry to IIM Kozhikode! Intimidated by the seniors in more ways than one. Got trapped in more hostels than one. Hated almost everyone, almost to the extent of getting out of the 'non-violence' concept. 40 days into the course and college, I find the energy, time and peace to get ...

It has been a long time since I've written my last post. Life had been one hell of a ride - these past few months, literally and figuratively. The first of the several good things started to happen to me this January, when the results of the CAT (for admissions into IIMs) were announced on the 11 th . Strangely enough, I got a score of 90.95 percentile; meaning I was better than about 91% of the people who took the test this year. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that about 91% of the people were too over-prepared or too under-prepared than I was. This is particularly true as my preparation (if at all you can call it that) is almost non-existent, what with the depression (due to job loss) and the feeling of failure I was experiencing in the few months leading to the exam. I guess most of the other test takers got carried away by the simplicity of the exam paper and attempted more questions than they could risk- the result being they lost marks in negative score for ...