Memories

“Those are not MY memories,” said the girl when someone asks her how she could bear to come to her ancestral home in Berlin, “after all they’ve done to your family here”. She’s a Jew visiting from Israel.

I put my pen down and stared for a whole minute at my “memories” that I was trying to fill in a worn out journal; one that I’ve been struggling to keep up with in the recent past. One that nobody would ever read again- not even myself.

I used to share stories on this blog a while ago. I thought they’d make me sound cool and smart, I guess. It’s been over 3 years since I wrote something not on slides and not for work, particularly in this blog. There was a story I started writing, but never saw the light of day, because I didn’t like the climax. Yes, the very climax that I wrote myself. So I printed myself a copy, tore up the last chapter and abandoned the rest of the pages in a dark corner somewhere.

These 3 years have been eventful: I had stuck with one job all along, thrown myself into work, half ruined my health, turned sober, and then ruined the rest of it doing what I do best- caring too much. All along, I believed wholeheartedly that I was too busy creating memories to write down any. Guess I thought there was a scribe hidden somewhere writing my biography as I lived my life. If there was one, she’d definitely write “bugger cares less now coz he’s more careless now.” I’d translate it as living a life like I have nothing (left) to lose. 

Over these years, I have explored a few other forms of narrative- photo stories, poetry, comic strips, videos and of course, slides. In fact, I did manage to build a loyal audience who check out the content I share religiously and ignore it promptly. But nothing matched the lasting joy and charm of the written word- a little like handwritten notes and picture postcards in the mail. 

Also, positivity effect- I finally managed to change all my crappy memories into happy ones- Yaay to me for cheating my own mind! So here I am, back to rambling away in words; Older, sober and definitely not wiser. 

Cheerio,
Manish
Bangalore 
07-Mar-2020

PS. Do listen to “Memories” by Maroon5 if you like their music. Don’t watch it though, the video is creepy.
Location: Bengaluru, Karnataka, India

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