Of Men and their Masks

People often find me quiet, alone and aloof at first. Although they find me amenable, as they get familiar to me, they venture to ask why I am the way I am. I have always answered saying I like being that way; But almost always I knew this was not totally true. 

I stay aloof and alone because I don't have to pretend when I'm alone. No facades, no fake smiles and no feigning interest. But realization dawned lately that disconnection is just avoidance of the problem and not a solution, thanks partly due to the circumstances and partly due to the choice of profession.

So now, the face became the veneer to my mind. The refuge of this mask gave me the boldness to do what I would not do otherwise; and trust me, most of that was not good. More, the mask gave the courage to experiment, to learn and experience things, to scramble priorities and just go with the gut. I now work, play,  enjoy, detest, party, slog, appreciate, ignore, adore, abhor, love and hate with the whole of my heart- of course, behind the mask. 


It has now become my identity, my excuse to do what I want to, how I want to; or as Dexter says, it has become "my dark passenger". I still don't fake smiles or feign interest; I just walk away, without a care  of the world. True that underneath, I am not quite the person I wish to be, but the world only sees the mask.

What lies within does not show to the world outside; and till the man becomes the mask, let the mask be the man...

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